Joseph's Dreams, Our Dreams..

from Nicole Reyes' sermon last night..

Joseph had a dream for his life, but in the beginning, he had himself as the center:

Genesis 37:5-8 says, "Now Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers they hated him even more. He said to them, 'Hear this dream that I have dreamed: Behold, we were binding sheaves in the field, and behold, my sheaf arose and stood upright. And behold, your sheaves gathered around it and bowed down to my sheaf.' His brothers said to him, 'Are you indeed to reign over us? Or are you indeed to rule over us?' So they hated him even more for his dreams and for his words."

Joseph's dream was accurate, but the dream was never about him. It was about how God could use him to rescue his brothers. And it took sort of a while for Joseph to come to a place where his "inner posture" would reflect humility and servant-hood, so he could have the outer posture God was calling him to.

Nicole talked about how we need to focus on serving others (like Joseph and Jesus did), so the purpose and dream in our hearts can come to fruition the way God intends.

But what I think is interesting is Joseph didn't say, "Okay now I'm going to start serving people because obviously my pride got me sold into slavery, and that wasn't good, so now I'm just going to serve serve serve until God sees my humility enough to let me have what I really want."

No, that was not his heart. In fact, he may not have even been wanting to serve. God was the one that allowed him to be sold into slavery and put into jail, where he was able to cultivate humility, which considering the circumstances, seemed to be one of the only options.

So yes we have a choice. We can choose to serve God and try to be less self-focused, but what I think we really need to do is pray and ask God to change our hearts, whatever it takes. Then we should look at every difficult circumstance as an ego-transforming opportunity and learn how we can work with God as He works to change us.

Rejoice and then Peace

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice" (Philippians 4:4, ESV). 

Pastor Philip talked about this verse today, and he talked about how genuine rejoicing begins with genuinely being grateful. He asked us to think of two things we are grateful for, but I'm pretty sure I can be grateful for way more than that. Let's go:

1. This computer.
2. My car.
3. My church.
4. My friends.
5. My roommates.
6. My family.

(All of a sudden I feel like this is the trailer for Don Jon.) 

7. My phone.
8. This seat that opened up for me at Starbucks.
9. The barista that was nice to me.
10. The money I have been able to save.
11. The job I have that's flexible and pays more than I've ever been paid.
12. The audition I got the other day, even though I didn't get the part.
13. The directors and people that were nice to me there.
14.  All the crazy ideas God gives me for writing projects and other.
15. The ability to overcome my sugar addiction (as I'm currently watching a barista put the caramel on top of the whip cream of a caramel frappuccino).
16. The Bible.
17. Good movies.
18. Good food.
19. Good books.
20. Cute little kids and babies (that are not mine but I can enjoy for small chunks of time).
21. Classes that are available to me once I get enough money and figure out where to go.
22. Dance class!
23. The beach.
24. The sun.
25. God's voice in my head.
26. The Culver City Stairs I just climbed.
27. That I don't have to worry about where my next job or money is coming from because God always provides.
28. That I don't have to worry about becoming a big star or author because God is in control, and all I have to do is obey.
29. For the decaf soy latte I think I'm about to order. (I got a breakfast sandwich the first time.)
30. For people that are willing to share their life stories and thoughts with others through books, blogging, movies, plays, and other creative ways. (May you all continue to keep the faith and work hard, and may your creative masterpieces reveal The Truth in a way that reaches even the most unusual of people.)

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things" (Phil. 4:8-9).

I think the above list qualifies as good things to think about, so I need to remember when I'm lacking in good thoughts, that there are actually a ton of good things to be thinking about and rejoicing over. And what is the result of this?  

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 4:7).

Ahh.. Peace. Could use a little more of that.

Bathroom Duty

This morning at church I cleaned the bathrooms. I saw a post on their website the other day where this girl was looking for someone to take her shift because she's out of town. It said, "Love cleaning? Get paid to help keep Oasis beautiful."

I don't really love cleaning. I like things to be clean, especially my things, but this is my church and I want to want to feel ownership of its cleanliness, and I need the money, so I figured I'd respond.

I wasn't really sure if I'd get it. Oasis is a big church, and the post said they prefer someone who's already on a serving team, and people at Oasis LOVE to serve (EVERYBODY serves), and there are tons of actor/artist-types that go there that I'm sure need odd jobs and money, and the post had been up for a day, so..

Yeah, she totally responded to me within fifteen minutes, and I had the job.

I almost didn't want the job, not because bathrooms are "beneath me," but because I get nervous about doing things I've never done before (like I didn't even know where all the bathrooms were - it's a new building), and because I figured I'd run into a bunch of people that remember me from last time (over a year ago, before I moved), and they'd be like, "Omigosh good to see you," and I'd be like, "Yeahhh, you too," but like forget their name or something, and it'd be really awkward.

Well, that did happen. When you're at church from 9 to 2 running around to different bathrooms all day slash hanging out in the lobby waiting for someone to spill something (the other part of my job), you pretty much see everyone.

People started coming up to me almost immediately, mostly girls, some guys. Nathan (the guy working with me and showing me what to do) must have been like, Wow I thought you said you didn't know anyone. (I had told him I didn't know the girl that I was replacing and that I hadn't been at the church in over a year.) But apparently everyone remembered me or at least sort of did. One girl was like, "Heyyy," and then after we chatted for a minute was like, "Wait, have you been here?"

"No, I was gone for a year."

Gone for a year. I was gone for a year, yet everyone's still here and happy to see me, and I was happy to see them. A couple hours in, I found myself calling to people I knew from across the room and actually being the initiator of awkward reunions, and it was pretty great.

There's a reason I had this job today. It may have been partially to clean, partially to make money, but mostly I think it was because God's tired of me running in and out of church for the service, barely talking to anyone, and going home. (For the record, I'm tired of me doing that too, but what do you do when the service is over and you don't have anything to do? Last week I signed up for a connect group after the service, but that only took thirty seconds, and then I left.) I'm usually better at talking to people when I have a job that keeps me around them, so I think this is exactly what I needed. God always knows, so I'm glad he showed me the job and prompted me to take it in spite of my fear and hesitancy.

(And now I know where everything is in the church too!-- Sort of.)

Decision Team chooses joy.

Today I'm going to talk about what it means to be mature. Actually Pastor Holly is going to talk about what it means to be mature, as based on the Bible. (She spoke tonight! At Oasis! Yay, I'm finally back in LA!!) But anyways, I am going to paraphrase and pull out what stuck out to me most.

As a person who just turned thirty and has yet to have a stable career, boyfriend, or home, I am constantly faced with the question of, Am I really even a grown up? I know I am, but according to the world's standards, I have not really moved forward that much or succeeded at anything substantial. But I know it's okay, because I do not need to be "conformed to the pattern of this world" (Romans 12:2), but still sometimes I start to get sad or perplexed when I realize I have not met most people's expectations.

So tonight was cool because P. Holly talked about this scripture:

James 1:2-4 - "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

So basically, the way I get mature in God's eyes (the only eyes that count) is by facing a lot of trials, which I definitely have.

I feel like working at camp this past summer was a huge trial for me because all I really wanted to do was be back in LA already, and I'm not going to lie and say I chose joy all the time because I did not. But even so, it's nice to know that even if all the weird camp things I learned to do have nothing to do with anything I do for the rest of my life, at least I know that that trial helped produce perseverance that is now at work in me, making me mature.

And now I feel very happy to be back in LA, but that doesn't mean I'm not facing trials. I'm still a struggling actress (see: I organize closets for money and have gotten one audition in three weeks). But something Holly talked about is the difference between the Greek word for "happy" and "joy." The word for happy is something that we feel based on some kind of good fortune, i.e. money we are given or some kind of mountain top experience. But God tells us to choose joy, which more directly translates to "good mood of the soul," and that is something you can find only in God, and you take it with you into every circumstance.

This is not a "beginner's virtue," H. says. We have to grow and cultivate it. We have to "grow up," by reading the Bible everyday and using it as our navigation system. We need to spend time with other believers studying the Word and helping each other, and then we will start to experience the fruit of the Holy Spirit, joy (Gal. 5:22).

And joy doesn't mean we aren't sad or we can't cry. Jesus was angry, and he wept. He certainly wasn't happy all the time. But joy comes from an ability to put our trials into God's hands and trust him completely that he is going to use it for good. This is what helps us keep going, just as Jesus, "who for the joy that was set before him, endured the cross" (Hebrews 12:2). He knew that his death was going to be the salvation of people, so he did what he was called to do, no matter the cost.

So maybe the fact that you can't find a job or you're struggling with your husband or your kids are crazy, isn't going to be the salvation of people. But maybe your story of how God gave you strength and joy in the midst of it will help someone one day, and actually maybe it will lead to that person's salvation.

One of Holly's examples of a trial was, "Maybe the dream in your heart just seems so far from reality," and I was like, Yep, that's me. Maybe I don't have a dying relative or struggling marriage or cancer or anything, but having a dream in your heart that seems so uneasily attained and almost impossible, is enough to make you lose hope and joy. But this is not how God wants us to live!

Romans 15:13 says, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope."

God is where real hope and joy come from, not from fluctuating and vanishing circumstances. (Praise Jesus because that would make people really moody, like me, I am totally like that sometimes. Blech.)

But anyways, so Holly's main points were that

1) We need to choose joy. And

2) We need to ask for wisdom.

If you keep reading in James, you will see

James 1:5 - "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."

So this is the practical part because we may be going through a trial, and we may want to choose joy or be trying to choose joy, but still, how do we know what to do when times get tough and confusing? Well God says to just ask him, and he will give us wisdom. It doesn't say he will give us a booming answer from the clouds (though that would be cool, and who am I to say he wouldn't do that), but it says he will give us wisdom, meaning we can use what we already know and make a Godly decision about it.

Wow. That's pretty cool that God gives that to us. It makes me want to ask him for wisdom more and make decisions more. And you know what else? Making decisions is a helpful way to become an active participator in your life, versus letting life just happen to you, which leads to becoming a lump and can steal your joy.

So in the end, Choose joy. Get wisdom. And let's make some decisions.*




*I was actually seated in a pew tonight that was near the back that had a sign on it that said "Decision Team Seating," which is weird but is also why I've been thinking about it and why I added it as sort of a third point.

Destiny by Devotion

Today was my first time at church in two-and-a-half months because I've been working at a camp in Indiana where Sunday was our busiest work day and really we worked almost everyday, so we couldn't go to church. But it's a Christian camp, so there were worship nights and guest speakers sometimes, and church was in our hearts or whatever, but still, I was super glad to get to go to church today because I LOVE CHURCH.

And I really like this church Calvary West, which is a little offshoot of the big Calvary Church in Naperville, but it's in Sugar Grove where my mom and stepdad live, and I went there for six months while I was temping at Threadless (between camp seasons), so it felt really good to be back. Plus my parents came with me, which was really fun. They normally go to a different church, so it was nice for them to see where I've been going and meet people and things.

But anyways. This was also my last time at Calvary West because I'm leaving THIS Friday to go to LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. (That was supposed to be "L.A.," but I was shouting it extendedly, because I'm so EXCITEDDDDDDDDDDDDD.)

But anyways. Here's the main thing that I learned today:
Pastor Russ talked about Samson (Judges 13) and how he was separated unto God as a Nazirite, which meant that he never cut his hair, didn't drink wine or touch grapes, and didn't touch or go near anything dead (Numbers 6). So there were all these rules, but it wasn't about the rules, it was about his devotion to God, which was symbolized by his taking strict precaution to do these things.

"Devotion to God protects your destiny." --> That was my favorite quote from Pastor Russ today, because so often we spend so much time trying to figure out our destinies and how to get to them, when really if we would just be devoted to God (i.e. reading the Bible / praying / etc.), our daily decisions would be infused with wisdom from God's Word. We'd be building "Godly reflexes," P. Russ says, and those actions and responses that have God at the center will lead us exactly to where we are supposed to be, praise Jesus.